Sunday, January 10, 2010

And scene

I didn't think it was possible, but I feel way worse today than I did at the end of the Patriots season in February '08. As all good fans do, I completely blame myself. I let myself be goaded into prop betting on the Patriots again causing them to lose. Not just lose, straight collapse into a dungpile in the middle of the field.
"The sun was in his eyes"! Really? Seriously? It's a huge fucking weird ass shaped brown ball. That is clearly just bad jinxy juju.
The Patriots, their fans and all their families should be too ashamed to show their faces in public. They should change their names and move to far away places.
If anyone needs me, I am now Juanita Espinosa from Des Moines. Wait, is that how you spell it? I'm new to Iowa and we don't have wireless. This is Iowa, right?


  1. Hey Tom. It's Mark. Listen, I've got a tee time for Sunday afternoon at Pebble Beach and I don't think I'm going to be able to make it. Ray Rice told me you've got some free time, so it's all yours if you want it. Just try to let me know tomorrow. I'm really busy this week.

    Whoops, gotta run. My plane for San Diego is boarding. Later.

  2. Hey Tom. Mark again. Listen, strangest thing just happened. Julian Edelman was sitting in my seat when I got on the plane and kept asking for you when I showed him my boarding pass. He had to be dragged out of the seat and off the plane by TSA. You might want to give him a call and make sure he's ok.

    Oh, and let me know if you want that tee time. Later bro.

  3. Hey Tom. It's Donovan. Remember that year we both played in the Super Bowl? Yeah, I guess that isn't gonna happen again, huh?

    Have fun with the missus in the off-season. She looked really hot in that last Victoria's Secret catalog.

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  5. Hi Tom. It's Bridget. Long time no see, right? Listen, sorry about the game today, but I just wanted to tell you that there's some good news! Little John Edward said his first word today. It was 'Interception'. I guess he was watching your game today on TV and heard it so many times that he learned it from the repetition.

    Say hi to Gisele for me. Oh, and your check is late again. Can you get around to that, now that you have some time? Thanks!

  6. Hey Tom, it's Tiger. I need you to do me a huge favor. Can you please take your name off the great QB list? My wife just started watching football and saw your awful game and may be thinking that is how great QBs play. So if you can please take your name of that. Just have it as a back up QB. You got to do this for me. And also tell Bill And Randy to do the same for me. Please. Huge. Bye.

  7. After reading these comments, I really want to say something nice; but then I think about the tweets...

    At least the draft class is supposed to have some solid wide receivers (although it may be thin at running back).