I'm scared of the Dolphins AND the Saints. Who wants to switch schedules with the Patriots for the second half of the season?
Anybody?
Bueller? Bueller?
Monday, October 26, 2009
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
So...
I've just about had it with "undefeated football teams."
Colts, Saints, Broncos, Vikings must eat it this week.
That is all.
Colts, Saints, Broncos, Vikings must eat it this week.
That is all.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Brady Swagger
I don't know where to begin with the awesomeness that was today in football. Well, how about at the beginning.
I was at work all day Saturday. However, the internal servers were down, so we spent all day having chair races and talking football. In the most bizarre development, in an New York office of 15 people, there were 7 BILLS fans and 7 PATRIOTS fans!!! One girl didn't know anything about football. We then spent an hour trying to teach her. The guy was like "You get four tries to go ten yards. If you can't do that, the other team gets the ball." She then asked "what if you go more than ten yards, do you get more tries to go the next ten yards."
That. Would. Be. Awesome.
Anyway, I had to be at work for ten am, this is three hours later than I usually go in, so of course, I overslept because I figured I'd have no trouble waking up. I make terrible decisions. Anyway, I get up at 9:00, jump in the shower, decide that driving would be my best chance of getting in on time, and head down to the garage in my building. As I'm going down to the basement, I see a mom and her like year and a half year old son climbing up the stairs. The kid is wearing the ADORABLEST TOM BRADY JERSEY ever made! Life! I too am wearing a Tom Brady jersey! (Even though I was worried that people would think I was just sucking up to my boss, who is also a Pats fan, but fuck 'em, I wear Pats jerseys every Sunday! Even when I'm watching from my couch at home.)
So, the mom and I are chatting as they amble up the stairs and when they finally reach the top, I say "Go Pats!" And the kid says something which was clearly "yes, I too would like the Pats to go!"
Sooo cute!!
Alas, I was working until 6, so I would miss the Pats kickoff.
I was checking the internets on my phone, so I mostly relied on twitterfeeds for the 1 pm games. The guy next to me was pissed because Big Ben was having a good game against the Browns, but he had benched him in favor of Tom Brady.
"I can't believe this. Ben already has 20 fantasy points! Every week, I have to decide and I get screwed every week."
I glared at him.
Shut the hell up.
I have the Steelers D on my fantasy team and they have screwed me EVERY week! Including today! How do the Browns score 14 points on them?? HOW?
For the Patriots game, I switched over to Espn gamecast. If things went badly I didn't want to read jerkface tweetage. And if things went well...
Brady was sacked early on. I was not happy. Alceste had told me that the Titans D was garbage and that the game would be a blowout. So, for this garbage D to sack my Tommy...well, I thought it was going to be a looooong day.
Not so!
Every time I checked my phone, Patriots had the ball!
And every time the Patriots had the ball....TOUCHDOWN!
I turned to the guy next to me, who had been regretting his decision to play Brady...
"Brady just got a touchdown."
"Make that two."
"Another Brady touchdown."
"I mean four!"
"And...that'll be five."
It was soo awesome!
I couldn't let my boss know I was gamecast watching until I was done, but then I turned to office door and said "Pats looking good!"
He replied "It was 24 nothing last I checked."
"Oh, it's like 38 nothing now...I mean 45 nothing!"
HAHHAAHAHAHAHA
Brady swagger, bitches.
I got out and decided to go to the ESPN zone in Times Square.
Can you believe I couldn't find a bar with DirectTV anywhere closer?
ESPN zone had a sign up saying it would be ten dollars per hour because of the "huge interest in today's games."
Not bloody likely.
I did an end run around the hostess and took a seat near the bar.
I felt a little douchey showing up for the second half of a blowout wearing a Tom Brady jersey, so I kept my jacket zipped up and watched silently.
When Belichick pulled Brady after the sixth Touchdown, this dude in a Giants jersey starts talking shit about Brady and Belichick.
"Hey, nice game you guys had today," I said from my corner hiding place.
"OOOHHHH," the dudes in the Jets jerseys said.
Giants guy went back to drinking his beer.
Thaaat's right.
The whole bar couldn't believe what was happening to the Titans.
"This is like a college game score."
"College game, nothing. This is like a Madden videogame score."
I chuckled quietly.
And THEN...Buffalo TOUCHDOWN!
"Yes!!!"
I jumped out of my chair as the Bills tied up the game against the Jets.
Now the Jets fans stared at me.
"You a Bills fan, girl?"
Uhhh...
"No."
I unzipped my jacket, revealing the mighty mighty 12!
"This girl is Patriots fan! Look at her wearing a Brady jersey up in here."
Giants fan guy turns around, "well, at least she has the good sense to cover that shit up."
"Hey, I was just being humble, seeing as my guys are whipping the hell out of the Titans right now...even worse than the Saints beat you guys."
"Beat y'all in the Superbowl."
"Even a blind squirrel can find a nut once in a while."
Jets guy jumps in:
"We beat y'all two in a row! Last year at Foxboro and then here at home."
"Yeah, and then you went on to win the division and go to the playoffs, right?"
It was pretty light hearted and we were laughing back and forth. Everyone was happy to see Philly lose. But then Sanchez threw his third...fourth...interception and now the Bills were one field goal kick away from upsetting the Jets!
They were quiet, I was jubilant!
Then the Bills kick was...what's the name of this blog again?
Oh. Yeah.
OT. AND The Jets won the flip.
Booo.
But no! The Bills hold 'em and the fake kick is intercepted!! Bills ball!
(The bar was PISSED, by the way. They thought Feely would have made the kick!)
Anyway, as OT marched along, a Bills fan sauntered over and he immediately starts to boo me.
"Hey, I'm rooting for you guys, buddy."
"Oh yeah?"
"Hell yes!"
He gives me a high five. We weather the ups and downs together until the Bills were intercepted with 6 minutes to. Lemon.
The announcers started to talk "tie."
Eh, I'll take a tie!
Buffalo guy was not happy about that at all.
"Come on! We're gonna win!"
Meh.
Bills win, Bills tie...Patriots still in first.
But HUZZAH! Lindell's kick is good!
Everybody's happy!!!
Except the Jets.
WOOOO.
GO RIOTS!!! Let us never speak of Denver again.
Brady Swagger.
Respect.
I was at work all day Saturday. However, the internal servers were down, so we spent all day having chair races and talking football. In the most bizarre development, in an New York office of 15 people, there were 7 BILLS fans and 7 PATRIOTS fans!!! One girl didn't know anything about football. We then spent an hour trying to teach her. The guy was like "You get four tries to go ten yards. If you can't do that, the other team gets the ball." She then asked "what if you go more than ten yards, do you get more tries to go the next ten yards."
That. Would. Be. Awesome.
Anyway, I had to be at work for ten am, this is three hours later than I usually go in, so of course, I overslept because I figured I'd have no trouble waking up. I make terrible decisions. Anyway, I get up at 9:00, jump in the shower, decide that driving would be my best chance of getting in on time, and head down to the garage in my building. As I'm going down to the basement, I see a mom and her like year and a half year old son climbing up the stairs. The kid is wearing the ADORABLEST TOM BRADY JERSEY ever made! Life! I too am wearing a Tom Brady jersey! (Even though I was worried that people would think I was just sucking up to my boss, who is also a Pats fan, but fuck 'em, I wear Pats jerseys every Sunday! Even when I'm watching from my couch at home.)
So, the mom and I are chatting as they amble up the stairs and when they finally reach the top, I say "Go Pats!" And the kid says something which was clearly "yes, I too would like the Pats to go!"
Sooo cute!!
Alas, I was working until 6, so I would miss the Pats kickoff.
I was checking the internets on my phone, so I mostly relied on twitterfeeds for the 1 pm games. The guy next to me was pissed because Big Ben was having a good game against the Browns, but he had benched him in favor of Tom Brady.
"I can't believe this. Ben already has 20 fantasy points! Every week, I have to decide and I get screwed every week."
I glared at him.
Shut the hell up.
I have the Steelers D on my fantasy team and they have screwed me EVERY week! Including today! How do the Browns score 14 points on them?? HOW?
For the Patriots game, I switched over to Espn gamecast. If things went badly I didn't want to read jerkface tweetage. And if things went well...
Brady was sacked early on. I was not happy. Alceste had told me that the Titans D was garbage and that the game would be a blowout. So, for this garbage D to sack my Tommy...well, I thought it was going to be a looooong day.
Not so!
Every time I checked my phone, Patriots had the ball!
And every time the Patriots had the ball....TOUCHDOWN!
I turned to the guy next to me, who had been regretting his decision to play Brady...
"Brady just got a touchdown."
"Make that two."
"Another Brady touchdown."
"I mean four!"
"And...that'll be five."
It was soo awesome!
I couldn't let my boss know I was gamecast watching until I was done, but then I turned to office door and said "Pats looking good!"
He replied "It was 24 nothing last I checked."
"Oh, it's like 38 nothing now...I mean 45 nothing!"
HAHHAAHAHAHAHA
Brady swagger, bitches.
I got out and decided to go to the ESPN zone in Times Square.
Can you believe I couldn't find a bar with DirectTV anywhere closer?
ESPN zone had a sign up saying it would be ten dollars per hour because of the "huge interest in today's games."
Not bloody likely.
I did an end run around the hostess and took a seat near the bar.
I felt a little douchey showing up for the second half of a blowout wearing a Tom Brady jersey, so I kept my jacket zipped up and watched silently.
When Belichick pulled Brady after the sixth Touchdown, this dude in a Giants jersey starts talking shit about Brady and Belichick.
"Hey, nice game you guys had today," I said from my corner hiding place.
"OOOHHHH," the dudes in the Jets jerseys said.
Giants guy went back to drinking his beer.
Thaaat's right.
The whole bar couldn't believe what was happening to the Titans.
"This is like a college game score."
"College game, nothing. This is like a Madden videogame score."
I chuckled quietly.
And THEN...Buffalo TOUCHDOWN!
"Yes!!!"
I jumped out of my chair as the Bills tied up the game against the Jets.
Now the Jets fans stared at me.
"You a Bills fan, girl?"
Uhhh...
"No."
I unzipped my jacket, revealing the mighty mighty 12!
"This girl is Patriots fan! Look at her wearing a Brady jersey up in here."
Giants fan guy turns around, "well, at least she has the good sense to cover that shit up."
"Hey, I was just being humble, seeing as my guys are whipping the hell out of the Titans right now...even worse than the Saints beat you guys."
"Beat y'all in the Superbowl."
"Even a blind squirrel can find a nut once in a while."
Jets guy jumps in:
"We beat y'all two in a row! Last year at Foxboro and then here at home."
"Yeah, and then you went on to win the division and go to the playoffs, right?"
It was pretty light hearted and we were laughing back and forth. Everyone was happy to see Philly lose. But then Sanchez threw his third...fourth...interception and now the Bills were one field goal kick away from upsetting the Jets!
They were quiet, I was jubilant!
Then the Bills kick was...what's the name of this blog again?
Oh. Yeah.
OT. AND The Jets won the flip.
Booo.
But no! The Bills hold 'em and the fake kick is intercepted!! Bills ball!
(The bar was PISSED, by the way. They thought Feely would have made the kick!)
Anyway, as OT marched along, a Bills fan sauntered over and he immediately starts to boo me.
"Hey, I'm rooting for you guys, buddy."
"Oh yeah?"
"Hell yes!"
He gives me a high five. We weather the ups and downs together until the Bills were intercepted with 6 minutes to. Lemon.
The announcers started to talk "tie."
Eh, I'll take a tie!
Buffalo guy was not happy about that at all.
"Come on! We're gonna win!"
Meh.
Bills win, Bills tie...Patriots still in first.
But HUZZAH! Lindell's kick is good!
Everybody's happy!!!
Except the Jets.
WOOOO.
GO RIOTS!!! Let us never speak of Denver again.
Brady Swagger.
Respect.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Tha Jets LOSE...
THHAAAA JETS LOOOOSSEEEEE. Hahahahhahaha. Okay, I was so bummed on Sunday because I thought the Riots were out of it, the Jets would pull ahead, plus they already have the tiebreaker shenanigans going for it...bleak Dawn in Summersville let me tell ya.
Ok, but we're right back in the hunt. You were granted a gift tonight Tom Brady, A MOTHER FLONKING GIFT. Please please don't return it sender. And I'm going to try to pretend I'm not worried about how good the Dolphins looked last night.
Gulp.
Good thing I did not put money where my trash talking "my one team will rack up more wins than your two teams" mouth. Oh and um, Braylon Edwards is pretty good.
Hahahahahhaa
Oh, that game was sweet.
Ok, but we're right back in the hunt. You were granted a gift tonight Tom Brady, A MOTHER FLONKING GIFT. Please please don't return it sender. And I'm going to try to pretend I'm not worried about how good the Dolphins looked last night.
Gulp.
Good thing I did not put money where my trash talking "my one team will rack up more wins than your two teams" mouth. Oh and um, Braylon Edwards is pretty good.
Hahahahahhaa
Oh, that game was sweet.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Ugly, ugly, ugly
Whenever Gostkowski shanks one, I crawl into a deep, deep funk of misery and despair. Um...insert some words about Tom Brady missing some big plays in clutch moments and lots of swear words for me. I'm going to bed.
Friday, October 9, 2009
Sunday, October 4, 2009
WOW
Okay, I guess I didn't even do a write up of last week's game. Patriots won, of course, but oh man, were the receivers KILLING ME. (I have Gostkowski on fantasy though, so I wasn't too upset that once again most of New England's point were coming off his sweet, sweet foot.) However, THIS WEEK!!! OH BABY!!! MY BOYS ARE BACK.
Brady to Moss! Brady to Welker! Brady to Morris! WATSON with a huge grab. TOM BRADY.
DUDE!!!!!!!!!!!
It's funny, I didn't realize that the Ravens were as good as they were (or that they were coming into Foxboro undefeated). I was very nonchalant about the game, didn't even get it up and running until second quarter. My guys were comfortably ahead and then...horribleness! Stupid mean guy beats Matt Light, forces a Brady fumble AND then stupid ugly bad guys get a touchdown to pull within 3. (THE VERY WORST PART?? The announcers had JUST finished saying how New England hadn't fumbled a ball in 27 games. Some kind of longest streak, blah blah blah. I wanted to gouge their eyes out.) But the very next drive, Brady was Brady again. Wow.
OH AND DID YOU SEE THE FAKED FIELD GOAL!! Gostkowski completed a pass AND got the first down!!
And then even with the penalty, NAILED the retry field goal!!!
I love this team!
I watched the end of the Dallas-Broncos game and I'm feeling okay about next week, even though Denver is undefeated.
The Jets' lost in SPECTACULAR fashion this afternoon, so New England is now tied for first. Hopefully, Sanchez has lost some of his swagger and hopefully, Miami got enough of a confidence boost from shellacking the Bills today, that next week will see Miami topple the Jets...what? it's possible.
My guys are 3-1 and in firstish place, so today's song of the day goes out to them:
No matter how many battles I been in and won/No matter how magazines on my nuts/no matter how many emcees I eat up/oh oh IT'S NEVER ENOUGH.
WE'RE COMING! THEY'RE GOING!!!!!! LET'S DO THIS.
Brady to Moss! Brady to Welker! Brady to Morris! WATSON with a huge grab. TOM BRADY.
DUDE!!!!!!!!!!!
It's funny, I didn't realize that the Ravens were as good as they were (or that they were coming into Foxboro undefeated). I was very nonchalant about the game, didn't even get it up and running until second quarter. My guys were comfortably ahead and then...horribleness! Stupid mean guy beats Matt Light, forces a Brady fumble AND then stupid ugly bad guys get a touchdown to pull within 3. (THE VERY WORST PART?? The announcers had JUST finished saying how New England hadn't fumbled a ball in 27 games. Some kind of longest streak, blah blah blah. I wanted to gouge their eyes out.) But the very next drive, Brady was Brady again. Wow.
OH AND DID YOU SEE THE FAKED FIELD GOAL!! Gostkowski completed a pass AND got the first down!!
And then even with the penalty, NAILED the retry field goal!!!
I love this team!
I watched the end of the Dallas-Broncos game and I'm feeling okay about next week, even though Denver is undefeated.
The Jets' lost in SPECTACULAR fashion this afternoon, so New England is now tied for first. Hopefully, Sanchez has lost some of his swagger and hopefully, Miami got enough of a confidence boost from shellacking the Bills today, that next week will see Miami topple the Jets...what? it's possible.
My guys are 3-1 and in firstish place, so today's song of the day goes out to them:
No matter how many battles I been in and won/No matter how magazines on my nuts/no matter how many emcees I eat up/oh oh IT'S NEVER ENOUGH.
WE'RE COMING! THEY'RE GOING!!!!!! LET'S DO THIS.
Gannon sucks as much as McNabb
Gannon didn't like the timeout because he thought that if Graham hit the field goal it would leave too much time for dangerous Cleveland return man Joshua Cribbs(notes) to take back the subsequent kickoff for a touchdown. You know, that dreaded post-score overtime kickoff that has felled so many teams throughout history.
Gannon's partner in the booth, Ian Eagle, quickly and politely informed Gannon that the game would be over if Graham successfully converted the field goal since NFL overtime is sudden death. Gannon laughed and apologized for his mistake. Awesomely, Eagle then asked if McNabb had infiltrated the broadcast booth. Nah, Ian, if that were true, Gannon would have vomited when the game got down to crunch time. (Rimshot!)
Buuurn.
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