The entire left side of my head turned completely grey during the third quarter of this game.
I curse the name of Rob Ryan, though I don't know why I blamed him when the Patriots seemed to be imploding all on their own. Two more Tom Brady interceptions. Slater fumbles AND we turn it over to Dallas on the 30. Hernando turns it over in the redzone for the second consecutive game???
I was in the fetal position on my couch sucking my thumb and staring into the abyss of two more weeks of looking up at the Bills in the AFC East AND being forced to watch replays of Brady's interceptions. Oy. But there was hope right? We got the ball back with 10 minutes left! Punt. Ball back with 5 minutes left! Punt.
I want to die. Nothing is fair. Cowboys fans are filling up my mentions on twitter. I pray and pray for Romo to do something stupid.
Pleeeeaassseee!
Time marches on. Less than two minutes left.
I've given up. Huh. First down? Okay.
First down.
I feel hope creeping into my body...
First down. We're in Dallas territory.
Less than a minute left. At the thirty now... Gostkowski can tie it. First OT of the season... New England time out.
I can't. I just can't...
They're back... Brady scrambles around in the pocket... Looking...looking... Oh, God... He lets it rip.
The ball slams in Hernandez' chest, he falls backwards to the ground in the endzone. I wait for the anvil to drop on my head. Ball squirts out, his hair is out of bounds, Ocho called for holding on the sidelines. Something?
Nope. Touchdown. Extra point is good. Riots up by four with 22 seconds on the clock.
I am paralyzed with fear.
Kick off returned for TD? Tony Romo hail mary pass for a... Hahahaha okay, I never seriously contemplated Romo winning this for the Cowboys, I was despondent, not lobotomized. Clock winds to zero. The Cowboys don't score again.
Patriots win. I stare at the TV in disbelief.
It's one of those classic lose/lose scenarios. Patriots fans feel cheated because we should have crushed those circus clowns, not eeked out a last minute win. Dallas fans feel dejected because they lost.
Nobody's happy.
Well, except the Patriots fans who, after a few shots realize that the Giants' early game win over the Bills, coupled with Brady's heroics means the Riots go into the bye week in first! And by "Patriots fans" I mean me.
First place team says: KEEP.CALM. AND BRADY ON!
Monday, October 17, 2011
Thursday, October 13, 2011
The Home Stand
My boys in blue were back at Foxboro this week to face the New Jersey Jets (yeah, I said it.) they were wearing their "Boston Patriots" throwback jerseys and the Bruins were spilling dirty water on our field, but the New England Patriots were home again.
I was feeling queasy. The Jets had lost two in a row, including a hilarious three stooges homage courtesy of Sanchez (and Flacco's really) performance in the Jets/ Ravens matchup. Plus, the entire Jets squad seems to have a super hard-on for Tom Brady (and who can blame them) so I figured this was going to be a tough game.
Sure enough, it was the first game where Officer Tom and his awesome brigade did not score on their opening drive. We had to wait till the second one for the first Law Firm touchdown! I love that guy. He is SO unassuming, yet pretty fucking great. I cannot believe he's never fumbled in his whole career. Yes, I can say that now because he isn't on the field. When the announcers kept saying that during the game, I wanted to slit their throats. Anyone remember how they kept blah blah blahing about Brady not having been sacked and then BAM, down the Raiders take him? Grrr.
Up 10-0, I was still nervous about losing (I HATE LOSING. I SUPER MEGA HATE LOSING TO THE JETS.) Another Lawfirm penetration and I was breathing easier, heck, as the clock wound down and TFB was marching to the endzone to close the half, I was all "I'M NOT EATING TILL THE PATRIOTS SCORE AGAIN!" And laughing and...and... then that wretched Hernandez deflection to Cromartie IN THE ENDZONE? BLASTED!
At least it wasn't a pick six.
AND THEN BRANCH FUMBLES?? (And seriously, totally a fumble, we got MAD lucky on that one)
I didn't breathe for the rest of the game, not till I safely and soundly say the Gostkowski kick sail through sending us up by more than two possessions... though, those fuckers could have scored a touchdown and a two point conversion to send it to overtime...but that didn't happen! A win! A sloppy, penalty filled, heart attack triggering win, but a win nonetheless.
Now, the Cowboys come to town. I'm not as nervous about this game as I was about the last two, but the Cowboys are coming off a bye... Dez and Miles are back, our defense is still our defense, so who knows. But in Brady and Belichick I trust.
Giddy Up!
I was feeling queasy. The Jets had lost two in a row, including a hilarious three stooges homage courtesy of Sanchez (and Flacco's really) performance in the Jets/ Ravens matchup. Plus, the entire Jets squad seems to have a super hard-on for Tom Brady (and who can blame them) so I figured this was going to be a tough game.
Sure enough, it was the first game where Officer Tom and his awesome brigade did not score on their opening drive. We had to wait till the second one for the first Law Firm touchdown! I love that guy. He is SO unassuming, yet pretty fucking great. I cannot believe he's never fumbled in his whole career. Yes, I can say that now because he isn't on the field. When the announcers kept saying that during the game, I wanted to slit their throats. Anyone remember how they kept blah blah blahing about Brady not having been sacked and then BAM, down the Raiders take him? Grrr.
Up 10-0, I was still nervous about losing (I HATE LOSING. I SUPER MEGA HATE LOSING TO THE JETS.) Another Lawfirm penetration and I was breathing easier, heck, as the clock wound down and TFB was marching to the endzone to close the half, I was all "I'M NOT EATING TILL THE PATRIOTS SCORE AGAIN!" And laughing and...and... then that wretched Hernandez deflection to Cromartie IN THE ENDZONE? BLASTED!
At least it wasn't a pick six.
AND THEN BRANCH FUMBLES?? (And seriously, totally a fumble, we got MAD lucky on that one)
I didn't breathe for the rest of the game, not till I safely and soundly say the Gostkowski kick sail through sending us up by more than two possessions... though, those fuckers could have scored a touchdown and a two point conversion to send it to overtime...but that didn't happen! A win! A sloppy, penalty filled, heart attack triggering win, but a win nonetheless.
Now, the Cowboys come to town. I'm not as nervous about this game as I was about the last two, but the Cowboys are coming off a bye... Dez and Miles are back, our defense is still our defense, so who knows. But in Brady and Belichick I trust.
Giddy Up!
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Raiders grudge match! Patriots win AGAIN!
So clearly MVP of this game was Richard Seymour, yes? He kept soo many drives alive even when Tom Brady didn't seem to be able to get anything going. Although, I swear Tommy took that false start on purpose to sucker Seymour into the roughing the passer penalty. There was just something about his eyes as the clock ran down... I dunno.
I was worried about this game... Wow, I feel like I write that every week! Fine! Fine! I'm worried about every game. There. Are you happy now? Can we move on?
The offense stuttered a bit without Hernando. Hope we get him back soon, but Ocho had a couple of catches to remind us we're still paying him an obscene amount of money. (His twitter account has gone silent since the big deuce he laid in Buffalo. Hope he's actually focusing more on football and not just using a secret account!) The defense, well, aside from big bad number 75 with his second pick of the season, was once again craptacular AND we lose Mayo to injury. It's feeling eerily less 2007 and more 2009... Like we'll limp across the finish line and be eating alive by some shit wildcard team. I hope and pray I'm wrong. And THE FUCK! Where is Haynesworth?? Why are our big blockbuster off season signings both busto, so far? Color me unhappy.
And now we face the Jets. All the twitter Patriots fans are calling this the revenge game. Bullshit. They knocked us out of the playoffs. This is nothing compared to that. Though, if the Jets lose three in a row (and I feel like they have another tough opponent next week, their season could very well be on life support...so there's that.)
But headed into Sunday, (and oh man, do I wish I could be at Foxboro!) I remain, as ever, worried about this game.
I was worried about this game... Wow, I feel like I write that every week! Fine! Fine! I'm worried about every game. There. Are you happy now? Can we move on?
The offense stuttered a bit without Hernando. Hope we get him back soon, but Ocho had a couple of catches to remind us we're still paying him an obscene amount of money. (His twitter account has gone silent since the big deuce he laid in Buffalo. Hope he's actually focusing more on football and not just using a secret account!) The defense, well, aside from big bad number 75 with his second pick of the season, was once again craptacular AND we lose Mayo to injury. It's feeling eerily less 2007 and more 2009... Like we'll limp across the finish line and be eating alive by some shit wildcard team. I hope and pray I'm wrong. And THE FUCK! Where is Haynesworth?? Why are our big blockbuster off season signings both busto, so far? Color me unhappy.
And now we face the Jets. All the twitter Patriots fans are calling this the revenge game. Bullshit. They knocked us out of the playoffs. This is nothing compared to that. Though, if the Jets lose three in a row (and I feel like they have another tough opponent next week, their season could very well be on life support...so there's that.)
But headed into Sunday, (and oh man, do I wish I could be at Foxboro!) I remain, as ever, worried about this game.
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