This will be the third most delicious win of the season. After Saints and Jets, of course.
In Tully Banta-Cain and Vince Wilfork I trust!
GO RIOTS. BREAK THAT MANNING IN HALF.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Live blogging Pats-Fish
Did you hear the screams of agony? Then you know, Brady was just intercepted.
Oy.
We have them at 3rd and 10 and let them get a first down? Ugh. Where's that snowstorm I ordered?
YEEEEAAHHHHH, BUUDDDYYY! TOUCHDOWN NEW ENGLAND!
Lemon. Live by the Tuck rule, die by the Tuck rule.
Well, my mother went and ruined my whole liveblogging attempt. I barely got to watch the game on DVR delay by the time it ended...but WHEW!!
As the guy from the Patridge Family said: "what was I so afraid of!"
I loved how Brady kept letting Moss make up for getting beat for the INT on New England's first drive. That's love between those two!
Oh, and I'm totally feeling the ACHT-CHUNG chants!
And according to Patriots Insider, the Scorboard put up Joey Porter's stats after the game: ZERO TACKLES, ZERO SACKS. Which sounds about right for a big fat ZERO!
Not in our house.
Back to South New York for you looooo-zers.
Oy.
We have them at 3rd and 10 and let them get a first down? Ugh. Where's that snowstorm I ordered?
YEEEEAAHHHHH, BUUDDDYYY! TOUCHDOWN NEW ENGLAND!
Lemon. Live by the Tuck rule, die by the Tuck rule.
Well, my mother went and ruined my whole liveblogging attempt. I barely got to watch the game on DVR delay by the time it ended...but WHEW!!
As the guy from the Patridge Family said: "what was I so afraid of!"
I loved how Brady kept letting Moss make up for getting beat for the INT on New England's first drive. That's love between those two!
Oh, and I'm totally feeling the ACHT-CHUNG chants!
And according to Patriots Insider, the Scorboard put up Joey Porter's stats after the game: ZERO TACKLES, ZERO SACKS. Which sounds about right for a big fat ZERO!
Not in our house.
Back to South New York for you looooo-zers.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Guts and Glory
This post belongs on either my poker blog or my football blog. However, I make poor decisions, as you are about to see. Plus, I like to take my once a year shot at making a convert to poker and football out of Kaz, Tae and pearatty.
So, here we go. Hey! Stop that stopping reading. I see you.
Last night I was in a deepstack tournament in Atlantic City playing for a $14,000 first place prize. I had been catching cards AND playing well. Through nine hours, I amassed a fairly large amount of chips. I was winning at least two hands an orbit and doubling my stack every hour. This is how you win tournaments. However, even after 9 hours, there were still 60 people out of 260 left and we were 30 eliminations from making any money at all.
And then the Patriots game started. My poker concentration plummeted. But that's another story. This is the pertinent story: I am in the small blind (one of two forced bet positions.) Five people limp to me, so for a discount and a huge pot, I complete and match the Big Blind bet with T8.
The first of five community cards, the flop, are TdTh5d. I have trips, a really good hand, but a third diamond could hit at any minute and well, too bad for my trips. I am also the first to act, so I check: deferring my decision until I see what everyone else does. One guy puts out the minimum bet and everyone, except me, folds, I raise him huge. He thinks so long that I get to see the Patriots intercept Peyton Manning. Yay! I hear the old guy say "all-in." To be honest, I don't even know how many chips he has (that is a bad thing) I figure, based on how long he took that he has two diamonds and just decided to gamble.
I call and turn over my ten.
Brady is marching down the field.
I look away from the table, but my head snaps back when the table says "oooh."
He does not have a draw.
He has a hand.
QT.
My hand, much much better kicker.
Oh well.
The next two community cards are dealt. I lose.
"Does he have me covered? Am I out?"
I'm not out. But I have about a quarter of the amount of chips I started with. It's late. This is a devastating blow. Everyone at the table has me covered now...Patriots score!
Yay!
Ok, universe, I can accept busting as long as the Riots win this game.
The universe seems to think that's fair because the Colts go three and out, scoring NO points AND the Pats score AGAIN.
I make my peace with my choice and just starting shoving my chips in the middle, so I can go bust and watch the game.
Nope, everyone keeps folding to me and I get about half the chips I lost to the old man back from the rest of the table.
3 people bust by halftime.
I am 27 eliminations away from cashing. The Patriots are up by two touchdowns.
5 more bust.
Then 10.
Then another ten.
I am TWO away.
Colts score, but whatever. There's a shade over two minutes left in the game...
One more busts.
ONE more player and I cash in my first deepstack poker game EVER.
Holy crap.
AND THE PATRIOTS LEAD!
Uh oh...it's 4th and short. STILL MORE THAN 2 minutes left. 2:06. (Basically, if the Patriots can hold on to the ball unto 1:59, they can essentially kneel on the ball, run the clock and beat the Colts by six.)
Belichick and Brady have a decision to make.
They can kick the ball away (punt) to the Colts, play 2:06 minutes of defense. Or, they can try to hold on to the ball for 7 more seconds and seal the win.
I am out of my seat. A guy at a table across the room, yells:
"Don't worry sweetheart, the Patriots have won."
"SHUT UP. Don't jinx it," I yell back.
I sit back down, turn my back to the TV.
The dealer deals out the cards.
The first player to act, and aggressive player, who I haven't seen show down a hand yet, raises.
The next guy folds and then me.
I have pocket queens.
Aggressive guy has me covered. I am ONE away from cashing. I could risk it all right now and shove all my chips into the middle and let the cards fall where they may.
I turn around, Brady is back on the field. NO PUNTING!
The Patriots are going to go for it!
They need to hold the ball for SEVEN SECONDS!
6...5...4...
LEMON.
They miss.
But the play is under review...so...back to my decision...I call.
Dawn punts.
It folds to the Big Blind and he stands up and starts yelling at me because he can't see my chips.
I am now in a bad mood because I think the refs make a bad call against the Patriots and now the Colts have the stupid ball and now I have pocket queens and instead of putting it all on the line and going all-in, I just called and now everything in the universe is unfair and stupid.
"My chips are right in front of me! The FLOOR SET THEM (Cause she did after another guy complained he couldn't see them earlier), I am not even sitting in front of them because I'm watching the football game, so if you have a problem --"
He doesn't let me finish.
"---No, no...I'm sorry...you're right, you're fine...I'm just thinking...okay, I call."
I have him covered, but the raiser has us both covered.
Three of us are in this final hand right before the last person busts without any money. Number one loser.
The community cards are 7 5 2.
The Big Blind, yelly guy, checks.
Raiser bets about half my stack.
This is the problem with punting. I still don't know what to do now. I fold.
Big Blind also folds.
Colts score with 21 seconds left.
Someone else busts out.
Patriots lose, I cash.
But the Patriots went for it. My favorite headline screamed "All Guts, no Glory," across a picture of Belichick's face.
I, on the other hand, played scared. No guts, fiery shame. Money in my pocket.
So, here we go. Hey! Stop that stopping reading. I see you.
Last night I was in a deepstack tournament in Atlantic City playing for a $14,000 first place prize. I had been catching cards AND playing well. Through nine hours, I amassed a fairly large amount of chips. I was winning at least two hands an orbit and doubling my stack every hour. This is how you win tournaments. However, even after 9 hours, there were still 60 people out of 260 left and we were 30 eliminations from making any money at all.
And then the Patriots game started. My poker concentration plummeted. But that's another story. This is the pertinent story: I am in the small blind (one of two forced bet positions.) Five people limp to me, so for a discount and a huge pot, I complete and match the Big Blind bet with T8.
The first of five community cards, the flop, are TdTh5d. I have trips, a really good hand, but a third diamond could hit at any minute and well, too bad for my trips. I am also the first to act, so I check: deferring my decision until I see what everyone else does. One guy puts out the minimum bet and everyone, except me, folds, I raise him huge. He thinks so long that I get to see the Patriots intercept Peyton Manning. Yay! I hear the old guy say "all-in." To be honest, I don't even know how many chips he has (that is a bad thing) I figure, based on how long he took that he has two diamonds and just decided to gamble.
I call and turn over my ten.
Brady is marching down the field.
I look away from the table, but my head snaps back when the table says "oooh."
He does not have a draw.
He has a hand.
QT.
My hand, much much better kicker.
Oh well.
The next two community cards are dealt. I lose.
"Does he have me covered? Am I out?"
I'm not out. But I have about a quarter of the amount of chips I started with. It's late. This is a devastating blow. Everyone at the table has me covered now...Patriots score!
Yay!
Ok, universe, I can accept busting as long as the Riots win this game.
The universe seems to think that's fair because the Colts go three and out, scoring NO points AND the Pats score AGAIN.
I make my peace with my choice and just starting shoving my chips in the middle, so I can go bust and watch the game.
Nope, everyone keeps folding to me and I get about half the chips I lost to the old man back from the rest of the table.
3 people bust by halftime.
I am 27 eliminations away from cashing. The Patriots are up by two touchdowns.
5 more bust.
Then 10.
Then another ten.
I am TWO away.
Colts score, but whatever. There's a shade over two minutes left in the game...
One more busts.
ONE more player and I cash in my first deepstack poker game EVER.
Holy crap.
AND THE PATRIOTS LEAD!
Uh oh...it's 4th and short. STILL MORE THAN 2 minutes left. 2:06. (Basically, if the Patriots can hold on to the ball unto 1:59, they can essentially kneel on the ball, run the clock and beat the Colts by six.)
Belichick and Brady have a decision to make.
They can kick the ball away (punt) to the Colts, play 2:06 minutes of defense. Or, they can try to hold on to the ball for 7 more seconds and seal the win.
I am out of my seat. A guy at a table across the room, yells:
"Don't worry sweetheart, the Patriots have won."
"SHUT UP. Don't jinx it," I yell back.
I sit back down, turn my back to the TV.
The dealer deals out the cards.
The first player to act, and aggressive player, who I haven't seen show down a hand yet, raises.
The next guy folds and then me.
I have pocket queens.
Aggressive guy has me covered. I am ONE away from cashing. I could risk it all right now and shove all my chips into the middle and let the cards fall where they may.
I turn around, Brady is back on the field. NO PUNTING!
The Patriots are going to go for it!
They need to hold the ball for SEVEN SECONDS!
6...5...4...
LEMON.
They miss.
But the play is under review...so...back to my decision...I call.
Dawn punts.
It folds to the Big Blind and he stands up and starts yelling at me because he can't see my chips.
I am now in a bad mood because I think the refs make a bad call against the Patriots and now the Colts have the stupid ball and now I have pocket queens and instead of putting it all on the line and going all-in, I just called and now everything in the universe is unfair and stupid.
"My chips are right in front of me! The FLOOR SET THEM (Cause she did after another guy complained he couldn't see them earlier), I am not even sitting in front of them because I'm watching the football game, so if you have a problem --"
He doesn't let me finish.
"---No, no...I'm sorry...you're right, you're fine...I'm just thinking...okay, I call."
I have him covered, but the raiser has us both covered.
Three of us are in this final hand right before the last person busts without any money. Number one loser.
The community cards are 7 5 2.
The Big Blind, yelly guy, checks.
Raiser bets about half my stack.
This is the problem with punting. I still don't know what to do now. I fold.
Big Blind also folds.
Colts score with 21 seconds left.
Someone else busts out.
Patriots lose, I cash.
But the Patriots went for it. My favorite headline screamed "All Guts, no Glory," across a picture of Belichick's face.
I, on the other hand, played scared. No guts, fiery shame. Money in my pocket.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Not so random thought
I'm scared of the Dolphins AND the Saints. Who wants to switch schedules with the Patriots for the second half of the season?
Anybody?
Bueller? Bueller?
Anybody?
Bueller? Bueller?
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
So...
I've just about had it with "undefeated football teams."
Colts, Saints, Broncos, Vikings must eat it this week.
That is all.
Colts, Saints, Broncos, Vikings must eat it this week.
That is all.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Brady Swagger
I don't know where to begin with the awesomeness that was today in football. Well, how about at the beginning.
I was at work all day Saturday. However, the internal servers were down, so we spent all day having chair races and talking football. In the most bizarre development, in an New York office of 15 people, there were 7 BILLS fans and 7 PATRIOTS fans!!! One girl didn't know anything about football. We then spent an hour trying to teach her. The guy was like "You get four tries to go ten yards. If you can't do that, the other team gets the ball." She then asked "what if you go more than ten yards, do you get more tries to go the next ten yards."
That. Would. Be. Awesome.
Anyway, I had to be at work for ten am, this is three hours later than I usually go in, so of course, I overslept because I figured I'd have no trouble waking up. I make terrible decisions. Anyway, I get up at 9:00, jump in the shower, decide that driving would be my best chance of getting in on time, and head down to the garage in my building. As I'm going down to the basement, I see a mom and her like year and a half year old son climbing up the stairs. The kid is wearing the ADORABLEST TOM BRADY JERSEY ever made! Life! I too am wearing a Tom Brady jersey! (Even though I was worried that people would think I was just sucking up to my boss, who is also a Pats fan, but fuck 'em, I wear Pats jerseys every Sunday! Even when I'm watching from my couch at home.)
So, the mom and I are chatting as they amble up the stairs and when they finally reach the top, I say "Go Pats!" And the kid says something which was clearly "yes, I too would like the Pats to go!"
Sooo cute!!
Alas, I was working until 6, so I would miss the Pats kickoff.
I was checking the internets on my phone, so I mostly relied on twitterfeeds for the 1 pm games. The guy next to me was pissed because Big Ben was having a good game against the Browns, but he had benched him in favor of Tom Brady.
"I can't believe this. Ben already has 20 fantasy points! Every week, I have to decide and I get screwed every week."
I glared at him.
Shut the hell up.
I have the Steelers D on my fantasy team and they have screwed me EVERY week! Including today! How do the Browns score 14 points on them?? HOW?
For the Patriots game, I switched over to Espn gamecast. If things went badly I didn't want to read jerkface tweetage. And if things went well...
Brady was sacked early on. I was not happy. Alceste had told me that the Titans D was garbage and that the game would be a blowout. So, for this garbage D to sack my Tommy...well, I thought it was going to be a looooong day.
Not so!
Every time I checked my phone, Patriots had the ball!
And every time the Patriots had the ball....TOUCHDOWN!
I turned to the guy next to me, who had been regretting his decision to play Brady...
"Brady just got a touchdown."
"Make that two."
"Another Brady touchdown."
"I mean four!"
"And...that'll be five."
It was soo awesome!
I couldn't let my boss know I was gamecast watching until I was done, but then I turned to office door and said "Pats looking good!"
He replied "It was 24 nothing last I checked."
"Oh, it's like 38 nothing now...I mean 45 nothing!"
HAHHAAHAHAHAHA
Brady swagger, bitches.
I got out and decided to go to the ESPN zone in Times Square.
Can you believe I couldn't find a bar with DirectTV anywhere closer?
ESPN zone had a sign up saying it would be ten dollars per hour because of the "huge interest in today's games."
Not bloody likely.
I did an end run around the hostess and took a seat near the bar.
I felt a little douchey showing up for the second half of a blowout wearing a Tom Brady jersey, so I kept my jacket zipped up and watched silently.
When Belichick pulled Brady after the sixth Touchdown, this dude in a Giants jersey starts talking shit about Brady and Belichick.
"Hey, nice game you guys had today," I said from my corner hiding place.
"OOOHHHH," the dudes in the Jets jerseys said.
Giants guy went back to drinking his beer.
Thaaat's right.
The whole bar couldn't believe what was happening to the Titans.
"This is like a college game score."
"College game, nothing. This is like a Madden videogame score."
I chuckled quietly.
And THEN...Buffalo TOUCHDOWN!
"Yes!!!"
I jumped out of my chair as the Bills tied up the game against the Jets.
Now the Jets fans stared at me.
"You a Bills fan, girl?"
Uhhh...
"No."
I unzipped my jacket, revealing the mighty mighty 12!
"This girl is Patriots fan! Look at her wearing a Brady jersey up in here."
Giants fan guy turns around, "well, at least she has the good sense to cover that shit up."
"Hey, I was just being humble, seeing as my guys are whipping the hell out of the Titans right now...even worse than the Saints beat you guys."
"Beat y'all in the Superbowl."
"Even a blind squirrel can find a nut once in a while."
Jets guy jumps in:
"We beat y'all two in a row! Last year at Foxboro and then here at home."
"Yeah, and then you went on to win the division and go to the playoffs, right?"
It was pretty light hearted and we were laughing back and forth. Everyone was happy to see Philly lose. But then Sanchez threw his third...fourth...interception and now the Bills were one field goal kick away from upsetting the Jets!
They were quiet, I was jubilant!
Then the Bills kick was...what's the name of this blog again?
Oh. Yeah.
OT. AND The Jets won the flip.
Booo.
But no! The Bills hold 'em and the fake kick is intercepted!! Bills ball!
(The bar was PISSED, by the way. They thought Feely would have made the kick!)
Anyway, as OT marched along, a Bills fan sauntered over and he immediately starts to boo me.
"Hey, I'm rooting for you guys, buddy."
"Oh yeah?"
"Hell yes!"
He gives me a high five. We weather the ups and downs together until the Bills were intercepted with 6 minutes to. Lemon.
The announcers started to talk "tie."
Eh, I'll take a tie!
Buffalo guy was not happy about that at all.
"Come on! We're gonna win!"
Meh.
Bills win, Bills tie...Patriots still in first.
But HUZZAH! Lindell's kick is good!
Everybody's happy!!!
Except the Jets.
WOOOO.
GO RIOTS!!! Let us never speak of Denver again.
Brady Swagger.
Respect.
I was at work all day Saturday. However, the internal servers were down, so we spent all day having chair races and talking football. In the most bizarre development, in an New York office of 15 people, there were 7 BILLS fans and 7 PATRIOTS fans!!! One girl didn't know anything about football. We then spent an hour trying to teach her. The guy was like "You get four tries to go ten yards. If you can't do that, the other team gets the ball." She then asked "what if you go more than ten yards, do you get more tries to go the next ten yards."
That. Would. Be. Awesome.
Anyway, I had to be at work for ten am, this is three hours later than I usually go in, so of course, I overslept because I figured I'd have no trouble waking up. I make terrible decisions. Anyway, I get up at 9:00, jump in the shower, decide that driving would be my best chance of getting in on time, and head down to the garage in my building. As I'm going down to the basement, I see a mom and her like year and a half year old son climbing up the stairs. The kid is wearing the ADORABLEST TOM BRADY JERSEY ever made! Life! I too am wearing a Tom Brady jersey! (Even though I was worried that people would think I was just sucking up to my boss, who is also a Pats fan, but fuck 'em, I wear Pats jerseys every Sunday! Even when I'm watching from my couch at home.)
So, the mom and I are chatting as they amble up the stairs and when they finally reach the top, I say "Go Pats!" And the kid says something which was clearly "yes, I too would like the Pats to go!"
Sooo cute!!
Alas, I was working until 6, so I would miss the Pats kickoff.
I was checking the internets on my phone, so I mostly relied on twitterfeeds for the 1 pm games. The guy next to me was pissed because Big Ben was having a good game against the Browns, but he had benched him in favor of Tom Brady.
"I can't believe this. Ben already has 20 fantasy points! Every week, I have to decide and I get screwed every week."
I glared at him.
Shut the hell up.
I have the Steelers D on my fantasy team and they have screwed me EVERY week! Including today! How do the Browns score 14 points on them?? HOW?
For the Patriots game, I switched over to Espn gamecast. If things went badly I didn't want to read jerkface tweetage. And if things went well...
Brady was sacked early on. I was not happy. Alceste had told me that the Titans D was garbage and that the game would be a blowout. So, for this garbage D to sack my Tommy...well, I thought it was going to be a looooong day.
Not so!
Every time I checked my phone, Patriots had the ball!
And every time the Patriots had the ball....TOUCHDOWN!
I turned to the guy next to me, who had been regretting his decision to play Brady...
"Brady just got a touchdown."
"Make that two."
"Another Brady touchdown."
"I mean four!"
"And...that'll be five."
It was soo awesome!
I couldn't let my boss know I was gamecast watching until I was done, but then I turned to office door and said "Pats looking good!"
He replied "It was 24 nothing last I checked."
"Oh, it's like 38 nothing now...I mean 45 nothing!"
HAHHAAHAHAHAHA
Brady swagger, bitches.
I got out and decided to go to the ESPN zone in Times Square.
Can you believe I couldn't find a bar with DirectTV anywhere closer?
ESPN zone had a sign up saying it would be ten dollars per hour because of the "huge interest in today's games."
Not bloody likely.
I did an end run around the hostess and took a seat near the bar.
I felt a little douchey showing up for the second half of a blowout wearing a Tom Brady jersey, so I kept my jacket zipped up and watched silently.
When Belichick pulled Brady after the sixth Touchdown, this dude in a Giants jersey starts talking shit about Brady and Belichick.
"Hey, nice game you guys had today," I said from my corner hiding place.
"OOOHHHH," the dudes in the Jets jerseys said.
Giants guy went back to drinking his beer.
Thaaat's right.
The whole bar couldn't believe what was happening to the Titans.
"This is like a college game score."
"College game, nothing. This is like a Madden videogame score."
I chuckled quietly.
And THEN...Buffalo TOUCHDOWN!
"Yes!!!"
I jumped out of my chair as the Bills tied up the game against the Jets.
Now the Jets fans stared at me.
"You a Bills fan, girl?"
Uhhh...
"No."
I unzipped my jacket, revealing the mighty mighty 12!
"This girl is Patriots fan! Look at her wearing a Brady jersey up in here."
Giants fan guy turns around, "well, at least she has the good sense to cover that shit up."
"Hey, I was just being humble, seeing as my guys are whipping the hell out of the Titans right now...even worse than the Saints beat you guys."
"Beat y'all in the Superbowl."
"Even a blind squirrel can find a nut once in a while."
Jets guy jumps in:
"We beat y'all two in a row! Last year at Foxboro and then here at home."
"Yeah, and then you went on to win the division and go to the playoffs, right?"
It was pretty light hearted and we were laughing back and forth. Everyone was happy to see Philly lose. But then Sanchez threw his third...fourth...interception and now the Bills were one field goal kick away from upsetting the Jets!
They were quiet, I was jubilant!
Then the Bills kick was...what's the name of this blog again?
Oh. Yeah.
OT. AND The Jets won the flip.
Booo.
But no! The Bills hold 'em and the fake kick is intercepted!! Bills ball!
(The bar was PISSED, by the way. They thought Feely would have made the kick!)
Anyway, as OT marched along, a Bills fan sauntered over and he immediately starts to boo me.
"Hey, I'm rooting for you guys, buddy."
"Oh yeah?"
"Hell yes!"
He gives me a high five. We weather the ups and downs together until the Bills were intercepted with 6 minutes to. Lemon.
The announcers started to talk "tie."
Eh, I'll take a tie!
Buffalo guy was not happy about that at all.
"Come on! We're gonna win!"
Meh.
Bills win, Bills tie...Patriots still in first.
But HUZZAH! Lindell's kick is good!
Everybody's happy!!!
Except the Jets.
WOOOO.
GO RIOTS!!! Let us never speak of Denver again.
Brady Swagger.
Respect.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Tha Jets LOSE...
THHAAAA JETS LOOOOSSEEEEE. Hahahahhahaha. Okay, I was so bummed on Sunday because I thought the Riots were out of it, the Jets would pull ahead, plus they already have the tiebreaker shenanigans going for it...bleak Dawn in Summersville let me tell ya.
Ok, but we're right back in the hunt. You were granted a gift tonight Tom Brady, A MOTHER FLONKING GIFT. Please please don't return it sender. And I'm going to try to pretend I'm not worried about how good the Dolphins looked last night.
Gulp.
Good thing I did not put money where my trash talking "my one team will rack up more wins than your two teams" mouth. Oh and um, Braylon Edwards is pretty good.
Hahahahahhaa
Oh, that game was sweet.
Ok, but we're right back in the hunt. You were granted a gift tonight Tom Brady, A MOTHER FLONKING GIFT. Please please don't return it sender. And I'm going to try to pretend I'm not worried about how good the Dolphins looked last night.
Gulp.
Good thing I did not put money where my trash talking "my one team will rack up more wins than your two teams" mouth. Oh and um, Braylon Edwards is pretty good.
Hahahahahhaa
Oh, that game was sweet.
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