SWEEP!

Um. I can't believe it. Like, at all. All season I've been waiting for that game that I can save on my DVR and watch over and over again -- last year it was the Jets at New England regular season game, obviously. For a little while thsi year, it was the San Diego at New England one, but besides watching Wilfork pick off Rivers, it was kind of an ordinary game.

Heck, New England very suddenly became an ordinary team. I didn't like it, but on Sunday I embraced it -- completely. I hashtagged all my game day tweets "underdogs." I had my alcohol consumption action plan in place and then... nothing. Nick Folk did what Nick Folk does and the Jets' opening drive ended in zip. New England responded with back to back field goals and then a safety. I still don't know why if the other team gets the points, they also get the ball. RUDE.

Then, finally, Sanchez put together a drive that resulted in the two fisted wine drinking when he rushed into the endzone for a touchdown, BUT, not before he called a timeout, leaving enough time on the clock for Tom Brady to respond with a New England touchdown of his own.

Rex Ryan promptly threw Sanchez under the bus, rather melodramatically calling the ill-advised time out "the worst play in football." Come on. That isn't even the worst Sanchez play in football. Jeebus. If the pretty boy Sanchize wasn't such a dick, I'd feel sorry for the kid.

But he is, so I don't. Fuck the Jets.

And then the second half started. New England very notoriously disappears in second halfs against the Jets -- NOT SO this time around. Another touchdown, another field goal. The offense looked like it was clicking again, but more importantly, the defense was...um... defending. ANDRE CARTER WITH A BEASTLIKE 4.5 SACKS! NINKOVICH WITH TWO PICKS, INCLUDING A PICK SIX!

Football was fun again! I wasn't even talking any smack -- I was reverse talking smack and it was oh, so much more fun! I think I just about made F-train's head asplode with my "Jets are a fourth quarter team, your guys will probably win this." LOL.

I dunno, maybe, I half believed it...though, when I decided to bench the Jets D, I knew my heart was all-in on the New England sweep. Of course, no one can just be happy with the win, already the announcers are jinxing us with "oh, their schedule is really easy, I'm sure they'll win all the rest of their games this season," talk. I hate the announcers so much.

We face Kansas City at home next week. I thought it would be the return of the prodigal son, Matt Cassel, but seems like he's injured and we're getting some back-up KC QB. Hopefully, we can begin our streak of home wins anew. But the Jets game took an injury toll... McCourty, being the most notable. Stupid self inflicted helmet to helmet. *Shakes fist at (looks it up) Moore*

But all those concerns are for another day, I'm going to enjoy sweeping the Jets for at least another four days. Well, first I'm going to get some sleep AND THEN I'm going to enjoy sweeping the Jets for another three days.

I hate the Jets sooo much.

This. Is. Sparta

"You don't have a football blog, you have a Patriots blog. Actually, you have a 'when the Patriots are winning blog.'" - Ugarles

LOL. Ugarles is the speaker of three of the top ten funniest things I've ever heard and that sentence is number 9 because it's totally true, yet hilarious.

Indeed, I've missed two weeks of the season and curiously enough, the Patriots lost both those games. In my defense, I missed the Pittsburgh game for personal reasons - my first missed Patriots game in five years, so I kinda blamed myself for the loss and geared up in full Riots regalia for the Giants game...we still lost...le sigh.

So here we are. Haynesworth? Cut. Bodden? Cut. Ochocinco? Missing in Action. Tom Love of My Life Brady? Getting benched in favor of Tim TEBOW.

Things look bleak. I do not believe we will win this game against the dreaded Jets on Sunday, I do not believe we will make the playoffs this year. That "rebuilding season" everyone's been talking about for the last three years? Yup. It's here. It's ugly. And I hate its stupid stupid face. But I suppose it's necessary, so, we've gone from redemption season to THE PATRIOTS LAST STAND.

Ever see 300? THAT.

What's left of our injury decimated squad will roll into New Jersey on Sunday night and face one of the toughest defenses in the league. Whatever happens, we will stand strong for as long as we can, until we are destroyed. Hopefully, we will take some of those fuckers down with us. And in that vein, if my boys face most certain death, they will not face it alone. I have invented the best ever 300 Patriots v. Jets drinking game:

One shot for every Patriots fumble.
Two shots for every Tom Brady interception.
Three shots for every Tom Brady Pick Six.
A glass of wine for every Sanchez Touchdown Pass.
Two glasses of wine for every Sanchez rushing touchdown.
Drink 8 oz. of water for every Sanchez interception.
Eat something for every Tom Brady Touchdown Pass.
If that pass is to Ocho Cinco, book trip to Disneyland.
Get a 90 minute Swedish massage for every Tom Brady rushing Touchdown.

This. Is. Sparta.

Someone come collect my body on Monday.